Inability
by perfected
Summary: Although everyone is happy with the man he has grown to be, he isn't. He is far from happy, for all that he is that which he is not. This is the story of Regulus Arcturus Black, and no matter how much he wished to change his story, he could not.


To the people who were about to do the right thing

but _lost_ the courage to,

to those who were _rejected_ by society

and to those who were _too scared to be rejected_,

to the people who _took the __risk_,

and to those who were _too afraid _to.

But mostly to all the fuck ups:

_here's to us._

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><p><span><em>some notes from the author:<em>

_Hullo lovely people of the internet! I see you stumbled upon my (first ever) Harry Potter fanfiction! Eep. I've been in the fandom for quite some time now, probably five or six years, but I've never had the balls to post any of the one-shots I wrote or the headcanons I kept making at the back of my Math notebook. I've never been comfortable with sharing any of my work, and to think that I've posted this is still utterly insane and definitely beyond me. I don't know what exactly triggered me to put this up, but what I do know is that what I am to show you now is a story of a boy who I realized people rarely acknowledged, despite the major role he played into weaving the story we all love today. Now, I may not be as good of a writer as J.K. Rowling, (because really now, she is the queen of all queens) but I am willing enough to play the story teller, and lead you into the life of Regulus Arcturus Black II through my eyes. _

_And with this, please note that Regulus is a very moody teenager and given the circumstances in the books, it is very much given that this story would contain themes like extreme depression, self-harm and violence. It wouldn't be too much, I promise, but nevertheless, please be careful. _

_I'll be tackling a few OCs and some male/male pairings as well although I'll definitely try my very best to stick to the canon. Being a perfectionist at heart doesn't give you much choice on the matter. Haha. _

_Without further ado, here's Inability :) _

_PS. Review and I'll give you a free undead Weasley twin._

* * *

><p>❝ <em>There's nothing you can do.<em>

Why?

_It can't be fixed._

Why?

_It's broken beyond repair._

_It's in a million little pieces. _❞

— James Frey, _A Million Little Pieces_

* * *

><p><em>PROLOGUE<em>

**_AFTER_**

* * *

><p><strong>S<strong>irius was nothing compared to Regulus.

At least, that's what his darling of a mother would always say. When the Black family received word of his brother and his sorting to the house of Godric Gryffindor, their parents went ballistic. Even when his house elf, Kreacher, escorted him back to his quarters in an effort to "_save Master from further damage",_ (This was a very ridiculous notion, in Regulus' opinion; you can never break those which had already been broken.) he still heard his mother's screams echoing within the walls, along with the smashing and thrashing of furniture.

Being sorted in the Slytherin house was a very important thing in his family and in any other pureblood family for that matter. Regulus knew that from the very start. Being in Slytherin was the mark of a _true _pureblood, and if you were not in there, _you're filth._

_You're a disgrace._

_You're a fuck up._

_You're nothing._

It was Slytherin or none at all.

When the time came for Regulus to start his schooling, he was a wreck. Nothing could make him any less miserable, not even the fact that he was _finally_ going to Hogwarts. It seemed everything that day drowned in the shadows… even him.

His gloomy mood did not go unnoticed though, especially to his brother. Sirius kept pestering him on the train ride, blurting out his best version of a motivational speech (which consisted of a thousand '_uhms'_, a few '_it's okay'_ and an awkward pinch on his cheek). Unfortunately, it wasn't helping Regulus in the slightest; his palms were still sweating, and his lips were bleeding from his teeth that dug furiously into them.

Sirius sensed the uncomfortable silence though and broke it with a few silly and corny jokes, just as he always did. Regulus tried his very best not to laugh at his brother's lame attempts but failed once Sirius started making his signature pun: _"I'm not joking, Reg! Everything is going to be alright. I'm Sirius! You of all people should know that."_

However, his brother's humor didn't stop the voices in in his head from haunting him. They were too loud, and he couldn't do anything about it. _He couldn't do anything. _

Tears were threatening to slip and make their way through his cheeks. He could've said he was too young, too weak and naive when he made the decision, but he knew that was utter bullocks. He knew the life he would lead when he decided, but he just thought... he just thought he could deal with it. He thought he could play with fate.

But he learned the truth now. _Fate never played fair._

He was _scared__, _as scared as an eleven-year-old boy could be.

So, when the Sorting Hat touched Regulus' head, he was very torn. He was torn between his family and his brother.

It was strange. Sirius was his sibling, therefore immediately making him his family as well. Why then does he feel the need to choose between them? Were they not the same? Did he not consider Sirius as part of the family anymore?

Maybe it was because his brother wasn't sorted in Slytherin. Maybe it was because he wasn't as intimidating as the rest of his folks. Maybe it was because of his beliefs that he wore proudly in his sleeve, no matter how much disgusted looks he got from his parents. Maybe it was because he still loved other people despite their blood. Maybe it was because he made true friends, who were there for him not because of his family's wealth, popularity or status. Maybe it was because he lived his life carelessly and dangerously yet still very to the fullest. Maybe it was because he, a.. a bl... a _blood traitor_, was living a true life.

Right then, he felt them. A single tear fell down through his cheek.

There came another.

And another.

And another.

And another.

Soon enough, the infamous Regulus Arcturus Black was crying, but he didn't bother wiping his tear-streaked face. For in that moment, he realized who the true fuck up was, and it definitely wasn't his brother.


End file.
